Randomness
by Harry Potter Fan 1994
Summary: Everyday things in Titan's Tower.  Not the good, not the bad, but all that weird stuff in between.  Not too much romance, but if there is any, all canon pairings.
1. Chapter 1: Fanta

These are just a bunch of random little one shot things that are supposed to be funny...but probably won't be. Anyway, I'm trying :) Hope you all like.

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or anything else mentioned below.

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Starfire laughed and clapped appreciatively as the commercial ended, still humming the catchy tune in her head. It began to escape her lips, starting out softly, but swelled to a volume that rivaled one of her Tamaranian folk songs. She added words as well, swaying her hips to the beat and trying not to ruin the song with her attempts to stifle her laughter. The Tower's Ops Center began to reverbrate with her tune, but amazingly enough, no one else in the Tower had heard.

The door to the Ops Center opened, and Cyborg stepped in, unaware of the alien princess's singing and dancing due to many years's practice of ignoring loud distractions. In truth, it had probably deafened him, though in all fairness, the half-robot was barely given any time to realize what was going on.

"Cyborg!" Starfire cried joyfully, flying over to grab his hand and pulling him in front of the T.V. Temporarily forgetting the words, she began humming loudly again, now dancing with the poor, confused metal man.

"Star--what--are--you--doing?" he gasped as she spun him in a circle.

The Tamaranian stopped instantly, waiting until he caught his breath to say, "Dancing!"

"Huh?"

She cocked her head to the side. "Do you not wish for the frothy, orange liquid which the female Earthlings in scanty swimwear are singing of?" she inquired innocently. It took a minute for even Cyborg's half-mechanical mind to process that.

"Do I want a Fanta?" Starfire nodded. "Um...we kinda don't have any, Star."

"Worry not, friend!" Starfire declared. "I shall journey to the store of groceries and purchase a bottle!" She scrummaged through the couches to find a dollar or two, and left, still humming the song in her head.

While waiting for her return, Cyborg found that he was subconsciously singing it himself. "Don't you want a, want a Fanta?" Adding in the Robot for dance moves, he was sliding across the floor, mumbling to himself.

And then Beast Boy walked in...

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Random, hence the title. I just couldn't get the song out of my head today, which is weird, because I haven't seen the commercial in years... 


	2. Chapter 2: Excuses

Just so you know, these are all going to be pretty short.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything else mentioned below.

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_It was very, very cold. Starfire had fallen asleep on the U-shaped couch, her body stretched across the bottom of the arc like a bridge. Even in her sleep, she was struggling to keep her body on the couch. Plus, her head was on the arm of the couch, and she was sleeping on her side, making her own body twist into an unnatural U-shape. All in all, she looked very uncomfortable._

_Robin was at the dining table, as his own desk did not provide sufficient space for the amount of crime files he needed to spread around. From time to time, he glanced at Starfire, feeling guiltier and guiltier. He really should help her, but what if he woke her up? What if he woke her up while trying to _carry_ her? Needless to say, awkward situations were bound to ensue. Still, he couldn't just _leave_ her there..._

_When he got up, though, his vision started to blur, and he could barely make out the '2:00 a.m.' on the clock. He hadn't realized how tired he was. _Starfire_, he thought sleepily. _Must help Starfire.

_He stumbled over to her and tried to lift her up. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, since Starfire was a light person. But, as previously stated, it was very, very cold. And though she'd been sleeping in this cold, Starfire was very, very warm. And Robin was very, very sleepy. _

"And the rest is kind of a blur," Robin admitted. "But that's why Starfire and I were sleeping on the couch together. We didn't _do_ anything."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "I didn't ask for an explanation, Robin. I just came in and sat down."

Robin flushed from the tip of his chin to the roots of his spiky, slightly messed up, black hair and carried Starfire up to her room.

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I don't even know... 


	3. Chapter 3: You know it's UNO

Thank you guys so much for reviewing! I'm really glad all of you liked it!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything else mentioned below.

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Sweat dripped down the green changeling's face as his eyes darted downwards, and then up again at his adversary. It was neck and neck, and so intense Beast Boy could feel the room practically burning. He wiped away the sweat and his eyes narrowed as a threat.

Cyborg squinted right back. The two would probably be twirling guns and snapping them back in their holsters, had this been the Old West. Cyborg screeched his chair back a little bit, nearly starting at the noise it caused in the so far soundless room. Beast Boy looked surprised as well, and then his expression settled into one of anxiety. _So_, thought Cyborg grimly. _It comes down to the final round. _

Cautiously, slowly, Beast Boy reached out...

"BOO!" Cyborg yelled.

"AHHHHH!" The shape-shifter fell right on to the floor, screaming for ages after his eyes had registered that Cyborg was laughing. It took his brain a little while longer. "Cy! That's totally unfair! I was _in the moment_!" Cyborg clutched his side with one hand, wiping a tear out of his human eye with the other.

"I know, man, but it was impossible to resist. Now hurry up."

Gulping, Beast Boy stood up and reached out again, eyes flickering up at Cyborg to make sure no more tricks were coming. The older teen shook his head, and Beast Boy crossed his fingers, which was hard to do with the small, painted rectangle that he held.

"UNO!"

"NO!" Cyborg cried hysterically. Beast Boy pumped his fist, doing a little victory dance around the Ops Center. "But how...?"

"You can't beat me when it comes to talking. I'm just faster than you, Cy!" He paused. "And more _fly_. Haha, get it? It rhymes!"

"Don't ever say that again, you little grass stain. It's my turn now." And the silent match began anew.

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For anyone who's never played UNO, it's a card game where, when you put down your second to last card, you have to yell "UNO" before anyone else or you have to pick up two or three more cards. The purpose is to lose all of your cards by putting them in a pile in the center. 


	4. Chapter 4: Christmas Cheer

Christmastime! BBRae, like I promised!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Tinsel and popcorn strings lay everywhere around the Ops center. Strings of lights tied themselves in knots, randomly blinking on and off as they were tested. Spheres of every color, shape, and size were scattered across the room, half of them broken, and the other half about to receive the same fate. Plastic reindeers and snowmen with strings sticking out of their heads were scrambled i boxes and boxes around the room. Sparkly glass snowflakes, only to be touched by Raven, were in a neat pile near the couch. A golden, light-up star was lost somewhere in the clutter, among the ornamental angels and presents and who knows what else. In the middle of all the mess stood a gigantic Christmas tree.

It was Christmastime in Jump City, and the Titans were having a hard time decorating.

"Move it a little to the left, Raven, it blocks the T.V. from here," Cyborg instructed.

"No, it blacks the T.V. from _here_, too!" called Beast Boy, glancing up for only a second from his _very_ important occupation of making weird faces at the reflection of himself he could see in the ornaments.

Robin scratched the back of his head. "I think we need a smaller T.V."

"Agreed," mumbled Starfire in exasperation.

Finally, the Titans decided on a spot way in the corner, where only a little bit of the T.V. would be blocked. The entire back side of the tree would have to be left bare, since no one would see that anyway. In honor of her first Christmas ever, Starfire placed the first ornament on the tree. The rest of the Titans soon followed suit, and in no time, the front and two sides of the tree were loaded with Santa Clauses and penguins and sleighs and candles and fake snow. "There's no space for the rest of the stuff," Robin declared. "Let's just put on the tinsel, lights, and popcorn and be done with it."

"Be done with it?" Beast Boy asked incredulously. "You forgot the most important thing of all!"

"What may that be, friend?" Starfire inquired.

"We have to put the star on top of the tree, duh!"

Starfire was very hesitant in replying. "I apologize for ruining tradition, friends, but I would much rather not sit on the tree until Christmas arrives." And then, of course, Robin had to launch into a half hour lecture about what Beast Boy really meant, and why they did it, and where the tradition originated from, yadda, yadda, yadda. Starfire listened attentively, but the rest of the Titans were soon bored. Raven set up the remaining items, and Beast Boy begged to put the star on.

He climbed the ladder, reached to put it on top...

The ladder wobbled...

The star was set...

The ladder fell on to the tree with an almighty BOOM!

Ornaments flew everywhere. The fake snow covered the five Titans from head to toe, and then the tinsel was added. It was snowing Christmas characters, or rather, hailing. Poor Rudolph and Santa and Frosty...

"Beast Boy. Is never. Helping. Again," Raven growled. No one argued.

* * *

"Raven! Hey, Raven!" Beast Boy called frantically. "Come here, quick! It's URGENT!" Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg turned their heads interestedly, but Raven did not seem to care all that much. 

"Can you not firgure out how to open the bathroom door again, Beast Boy?" the empath asked dryly. Beast Boy pouted.

"_No._ I know very well that you have to turn the knob the _other_ way. Just get over here, please? It's really, really, really, really important!" Sighing, Raven got up from her place on the couch and walked over, glaring at the anxious changeling.

"What?"

"Hold this." He handed her the end of an electrical plug that was supposed to go in the socket, and picked up the other end, which was connected to the huge, light-up star that was supposed to be on top of the Titans's Christmas tree. Key word there: supposed. Beast Boy would never leave anything in it's actual place. Surprisingly, though, he transformed into a giraffe and placed the star on the top carefully, and then morphed back to his human form. "You ready?"

"For what--" She was cut off by Beast Boy's lips on hers. Her eyes widening and a blush spreading across her cheeks, she gripped the plug so hard, she was sure it would burst. Her emotions were totally out of control, but strangely, nothing blew up. Beast Boy pulled away, glanced at the Christmas tree, and grinned broadly.

"You reek-a! I did it! Presenting...the Raven-powered Christmas star!" Raven pulled her hood over her head quickly, so Beast Boy wouldn't see her very red face. Her emotions crowded her mind, begging to be heard about what they thought of this, but Raven forced herself to look where Beast Boy was pointing. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Robin and Cyborg doubled over in laughter, but her hearing was dulled.

The golden star on top of the Christmas tree was now glowing black, as the energy flowed from Raven's hand. She realized what he had had in mind since the beginning, and dropped the plug before she broke it. "You _kissed _me so you could try an experiment?" she asked furiously. Beast Boy's smile faded, and he was now throughly terrified.

"When you say it that way, it sounds so--" At the look Raven was giving him, he took off running. Robin wiped tears of mirth out from under his mask.

"That was good. Although I have to admit, it was pretty smart of Beast Boy to use Raven as a power source...though the kissing thing wasn't the best way to go." Cyborg grinned evilly and picked the star off the top of the Christmas tree, handing it to a very confused Robin.

"Oh, Starfirrrrre..." Robin took off running, too.

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Ech, not that great, but I tried... 


	5. Chapter 5: Men

Couldn't think of what to call this one, but oh well...happy belated holidays, everyone!

Diclaimer: I own nothing.

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A tear squeezed out from under Robin's mask as he stared straight out in front. "So beautiful..." he murmured. Cyborg had long since lost it and was sobbing into Beast Boy's shoulder. The little green man pushed Cyborg away, getting off of the couch and kneeling on the floor, clasping his hands in front of his chest in pure worship. Starfire was weeping into the stuffed Robin she'd made at the Build-a-Bear workshop, his little cape starting to sag with the weight of her tears. Raven had left the Ops Center long ago, muttering something along the lines of 'idiots.' 

"I can't believe I'm witnessing this. It's too much!" bawled Cyborg suddenly.

Starfire sniffled, patting her friends shoulder. "It is quite alright, friend. It was just a movie. Surely, in real life, Melissa and Connor will not separate." At the mention of their break up, though, she teared up again. The half robot, however, frowned.

"What're you talking about?"

"The movie we were watching, friend," his alien teammate replied shakily.

Beast Boy and Robin became confused as well. "What movie? We were talking about the new T.V, Star," Beast Boy said.

"High definition!" chipped in Cyborg, his voice threatening to crack any second.

"One-forty inch screen!" Robin breathed.

"I apologize. I believed you were as saddened as I over Connor's departure, and Melissa's breakdown. They were truly in love, if only Connor had not been so blind, maybe they would still..." she trailed off wistfully, hugging her stuffed Robin to her chest. The boys winced, and an awkward silence ensued.

Cyborg broke it. "Flat-screen!" They began listing the television's features at her, until she sighed and got up, her thoughts written clearly all over her face.

_Men._

_

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_I got this idea because my dad, my uncle, and my brother were all crowded around my cousins's new TV like it was a god... 


	6. Chapter 6: Stuffed Robin

Thank you to **The Queen Of The Hearts **for this idea!

Remember the little stuffed Robin from the last chapter? Well, I'm sure EVERYONE wanted his life story, so here you go! This is going to be A LOT longer than usual, just so you know...and it's not funny. At least, I don't think so, but I tried the best I could...

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...

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Starfire added her finishing touches, giggling at the look on Robin's face. "He looks as if he is your double, friend! Is it not glorious?"

"Heh. Glorious...right. So, _when_ did we give permission to the Build-A-Bear company so they could manufacture...me?"

"I believe Beast Boy and Cyborg have already adressed this topic, Robin, although they were laughing so very hard I could hardly decipher it myself. Something along the lines of a practical joke that is not at all practical, or so they said." When Starfire had found out that Build-A-Bear was now selling Build-A-Robins, she had wanted to rush to the store immediately. Raven was nowhere to be found, probably locked in her room, and Beast Boy and Cyborg had been too busy guffawing at Robin's slowly reddening face to move an inch. Robin found himself trying to look inconspicuous at the nearest workshop. Surprisingly, it wasn't all that hard. _Everything_ here was brightly colored, just like his uniform. But he and Starfire were still getting quite a few stares.

"Oh yeah. Hey, Star, do you think you could hurry it up a little bit? I think there are a couple of fangirls--"

"Fangirls?" Starfire asked dangerously, her eyes glowing a bright green. "The ooze monsters with brightly painted faces and tight clothing and shrill voices that highly resemble _Kitten_?" She spat the name with disgust. "They shall be disposed of easily."

Robin's eyes widened. "Whoa, hold on a sec. How about we just finish up here, and fly home to the Tower, no violence involved?" Starfire smiled sweetly and agreed, and Robin let out a sigh of relief. _Note to self: Never mention "fangirls" or "Kitten" around Starfire in public areas..._

Five minutes later, they were flying away from the mall with a blue-edged white house in one of Starfire's hands, and Robin griping on to the other. The screams of fangirls nevertheless echoed in their heads the entire way.

x.oEnter Stuffed Robino.x

I look around in my small box, amazed at the world around me. It is so quiet, I can hear my tiny felt heart beating. Then, _SHLIP! _The roof opens, and down peers the most beautiful face I have ever seen...not that I've been around to see any others.

"Ooh! You are so very adorable! We shall have glorious times together with Silkie. We will partake in the consumption of zorkaberries and sing folk songs and...and star-watch and talk openly to each other and become best friends and perhaps even..." She hugged me close, sighing dreamily, but then pulled away and blushed. "Nonsense, Koriand'r, this is not the _real_ Robin..." Koriand'r. What a pretty name. I was about to tell her, but realized my moth had been sewn shut. I didn't even have a vocal box to make sounds with. The horror!

Koriand'r did not seem to notice my plight. She spun me in circles, humming a waltzy tune. Then she laughed. "Silkie, I shall trip over you again!" She bent down with me in her arms, and only then did I see the hideous worm-like..._thing_ crawling on her boot. This was Silkie? The one I'd be consuming zorkaberries and singing folk songs with?

I tried to shudder, but then figured out I had no bones, either.

What a bummer.

"Stuffed Robin, meet Silkie. Silkie, meet my little Stuffed Robin," Koriand'r giggled. Stuffed Robin. I liked that. So dignified and--

There was a knock at the door. "Star? It's me. Can I come in?" Star? Koriand'r opened the door, and there was a guy in a brightly colored spandex suit on the ther side. I didn't like him at once. He was bad news, I could just tell. He smiled at Koriand'r, and I started to get a little possessive. I "fell" on to her neck, my tiny arms hugging her as well as I could. "How's it going with...it?"

"Oh, Robin! It will be wonderful, just wait! I never knew stuffed creatures were so endearing!" Robin? But that was _my_ name! Koriand'r cuddled me again, and I was sure I saw a flash of annoyance on Robin's face. _That's right. Be jealous._

"If you need me, you know where to find me," said Robin, looking reluctant to leave. Koriand'r nodded indifferently. "Are you sure you're okay? I mean, remember the Puppet King? Maybe getting a stuffed animal wasn't such a good idea..."

"Nonsense, Robin! I promise you that my Stuffed Robin has no evil intentions. I will have to make a bed for him! And a tiny Tower for him to live in, surely that box is not enough? I have so very much to do!" She turned away from the door, and away from Robin, much to my pleasure. I looked at him from above her shoulder. He still seemed irritated, and I was glad. Eventually, Robin shook his head and walked away, leaving me with the beautiful Koriand'r and her ugly worm.

x.oOne Week Latero.x

Koriand'r and I had become the best of friends. She took me everywhere. I was her comfort during movies, I was her escort to the mall, and I was the only stuffed _anything_ that she cuddled at night. She loved me, I knew it. If only I could figure out how to un-sew my mouth so I could proclaim my undying love for her as well...

As it turns out, her real name is Koriand'r, but everyone calls her Starfire, or Star for short. It's still pretty. Everything about her is pretty, even the way she drinks condiments is pretty, even though a lot of people here disagree. I still don't know them all that well, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that when I free myself from these cloth bonds, Starfire and I will run away to Build-A-Bear land, my home, and leave that horrible Robin behind.

He's always green with envy, I can see it. He pretends he isn't, but he tried to sneak into Starfire's room last night and steal me. She's got a tight grip, though, and he couldn't do anything. _Ha!_ I thought. _Once I'm free, you're gonna pay for that._

I wasn't sure how to free myself yet. But that's okay. As long as I have my Koriand'r, I haven't got a worry in the world.

x.oEnter Robino.x

_Jealous of a stuffed toy, Robin. How pathetic can you get?_ But it was true. Starfire carried that thing around everywhere! And it looked just like him! And it got on his nerves so much! This punching bag was _seriously_ getting it.

"Robin?" Starfire asked, stepping into the gym. "I had wondered where you vanished to. Did you not want to see my Stuffed Robin play catch? It is quite amusing to do..." She held a Ping-Pong ball in one of the little Robin's hands, and threw it up, catching it with the other hand. Giggling, she kissed his forehead. That about did it.

"Starfire, put the stupid thing down! So you have a stuffed animal, there are tons of people who do! You aren't five years old anymore, this is absolutely ridiculous behavior!" He turned back to his punching bag, but before he could land his first punch, he heard a sob. "Starfire?"

She was already running.

x.oEnter Stuffed Robino.x

Starfire dropped me. I don't know why, I wasn't the one who said all those hurtful things to her. I managed to catch on to her boot, though it was difficult to keep hold while she ran. I hated hearing her cry. Oh, the punishments I could think up for Robin...

He was right behind us, yelling her name. _That's not her name, you probably don't even know what it is! _Starfire ran into her room, but he slipped in before she could close the door. Darned agility. I dropped from her boot at her sudden stop.

"Star, I'm sorry. I never meant to say that." He seemed sincere, but you never know...

"It is fine," Starfire answered stuffily. Robin wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't know, I guess I got angry. I haven't talked to you once since you got this...thing. I guess if I don't get my Starfire time, I get cranky..." He grinned that lopsided smile that Starfire was always trying to push the corner of my mouth up into.

"Why did you not just tell me?" Starfire asked quietly.

"Because I'm stupid, that's why. Seems like the obvious thing to do, doesn't it?" Starfire giggled, hugging him back.

"You are not."

"I am, too." Then he kissed her! Right in front of me! My resolve broke along with my little heart. Starfire never loved me. Only the real Robin...

Then they sat on the bed, holding each other close and whispering things in each other's ears, giggling at random moments. I was forgotten. _Who is going to hug me now? Who's going to cuddle me and watch movies with me and take me around the Tower?_

Silkie's disgusting face loomed over me in what I thought was a smile.

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Happy New Year everyone! 


	7. Chapter 7: Ping Pong or Table Tennis?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. But I do own a Ping-Pong table.

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_FWHAPP!_

_WHOOSH!_

_PING!_

_PONG!_

The Titans were having a lot of fun with their new Ping-Pong table.

Raven, as usual, was referee. Starfire and Robin made up one doubles team, and Beast Boy and Cyborg, the other. The game was supposed to go to twenty one, but the teams were so evenly matched that no one could win by two. And the scores climbed higher and higher.

Robin and Cyborg were the only real competitors. Beast Boy was too busy adding sound effects in a Chinese accent, and Starfire, with her super-strength, could hit the ball everywhere but at the table. Robin usually scooped up her shots for her, but a few times, they were too far for him to reach without bumping into her and ruining the casual 'oops, sorry, I thought it was my ball.'

This happened to be one of those times.

"Yahhhhh-ohhhhh-eeee!" Beast Boy cried, striking various "Kung-Fu" positions that would have made Robin stick his head in the ground if his eyes hadn't been on the ball.

Starfire gave the ball a huge slap, and it soared right into Beast Boy's open mouth. He started choking immediately, falling backwards on to the floor and bicycling his legs in the air. His arms grabbed at his throat, and it sounded like he was coughing up a hairball. His face was turning a curious shade of blue-green.

"Grass stain! Talk to me! Breathe! Cough! Spit it out so we can keep playing!" Cyborg cried, adding far too much pressure on Beast Boy's chest. Now he was choking _and_ had crushed ribs. "Rob, this don't count, man! Redo!"

"Friend! Perhaps the High-Mick maneuver is to be used?" Starfire asked Robin worriedly.

"Yeah...Beast Boy! Hold still! Stand him up, Cy, I'll get it out--"

Raven snapped her book shut and sighed. "Beast Boy, if you can hear me, go T-Rex." Beast Boy transformed, and his sprialing legs smashed through the ceiling. With one big, dinosaur gulp, he swallowed the Ping-Pong ball and relaxed, whimpering slightly. Raven opened her book up again and read on as though nothing had ever happened.

The changeling bounced up with his table tennis paddle. "You guys are gonna get it for that! Me and Cy'll whip your butts!" He paused, looking around for his support. "Cy?"

The metal man was currently sobbing under the hole Beast Boy's feet had made. "Our last Ping-Pong ball!"

And Raven had to save the day again. She sighed. "I thought it was table tennis."

"No! It's Ping-Pong! It was made up by two guys in China: Ping and Pong, duh! Everyone know that!" Beast Boy scoffed.

"I think it can really be called either. It doesn't matter all that much, does it? We're technically playing the same game," observed Robin, and naturally, Starfire agreed with him.

"Our last Ping-Pong ball," Cyborg repeated, sniffing.

"Friend? Perhaps this will be of use to you?" Starfire pulled out a forgotten ball from under the table, and Cyborg's human eye widened and shone. He hugged Starfire tightly, weeping his thanks.

When he separated from her, Robin had on an easily read death glare. '_You're going down for touching my girl._'

And kicked-loose piece of ceiling crashed down on to the table.

* * *

I just thought Beast Boy would look funny choking...


	8. Chapter 8: Zit

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

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Raven stared into the mirror, a vein at the side of her head twitching. She was paler than usual, unless you counted the giant red bump in the middle of her forehead, similar to Starfire's when she'd gone through her transformation. 

Sighing, she stepped out of her room and headed to the kitchen. Starfire was trying to put mustard on everyone's waffles. Robin was pleading with her to not do anythng of the sort. Beast Boy was complaining about non-dairy waffles, and Cyborg was scarfing down his breakfast before Starfire could get near it with her mustard. Everyone stopped what they were doing when she entered the room.

"Raven...you've got a zit!" Beast Boy gasped. The vein-twitch grew worse.

"It is not a zit. It's--"

"Raven, it's not like you to be in denial," Robin cut in, very obviously trying to hold back a laugh.

"Is this 'zit' the same disease that I had been afflicted with when--" started Starfire.

"RAVEN'S GOT A ZIT!" Beast Boy howled, finally cracking up. Raven growled, grabbing her herbal tea and disappearing into the floor, and walking to her room from there.

* * *

Raven had been holed up for a considerable amount of time when Robin finally said, "Beast Boy, I think you should apologize." 

"Oh yes, friend. Raven's feelings are obviously very hurt," Starfire agreed. Of course she would agree with Robin.

"Raven doesn't have feelings, remember? They're all in her mirror thingy. She's just mad, she'll get over it. Maybe embarrassed. I would be, too, if I had a pimple that big--"

"Yo, grass stain, in case it didn't go through your thick skull, 'mad' and 'embarrassed' are feelings!" Cyborg bellowed from the kitchen. He was on dish duty, and he was not happy. Beast Boy shrugged uncomfortably.

"I guess, but--"

"Go, friend. Raven is sure to forgive you if you apologize. And 'it always helps a growing relationship if both people are sensitive to the other,'" Starfire quoted out of one of her magazines.

"What relationship? Me and Raven don't have a--" Starfire pushed him out of the room.

"Speaking of relationships..." Cyborg said as he entered the room. He casually 'bumped' into Robin so the poor guy flew halfway across the room and barreled into Starfire. "Whoops."

* * *

"Raven?" Beast Boy knocked on her door. "Are you here?" No answer came from within. He slid open the door a tiny crack, and saw enough to know that Raven was meditating, her back facing the door. He pushed open the door all the way. She didn't look like she was going to hurt him. 

"Raven? I just wanted to say sorry..." He walked around so he could talk to her face-to-zit. Only, the zit was gone.

Raven cracked an eye open. "Beast Boy?"

"Where's your zit?" Beast Boy asked stupidly. An evil grin spread across Raven's face, something he'd never seen before. She unfolded her legs and touched down on the ground. Beast Boy gulped.

"Don't you realize, Beast Boy? I _am_ Raven's zit. I've taken over Raven's body, and soon, my clan will infect the minds of the rest of your Titan friends..." she hissed, stepping closer. "Come, so I may transfer a part of me into you..."

Beast Boy's eyes widened, and he ran, slamming into the wall accidentally. The pain was of no consequence, though, he just wanted out. He threw his hands up in the air as he sprinted. "AHHHH! AHHHH! RAVEN'S ZIT TOOK OVER HER BODY! RAVEN'S ZIT TOOK OVER HER BODY, YOU GUYS! AHHHHH!"

Raven's evil grin melted into a satisfied smirk as she dug a black notebook out of her nightstand drawer, flipped to the sixth page and wrote: _How To Keep Beast Boy Out Of Your Room #141: Pretend you are possessed by an evil zit._

_

* * *

_Oh wow, that was kinda weird...okay, really weird. 


	9. Chapter 9: The Dreams of Beast Boy

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or anything else mentioned below.

* * *

_Beast Boy yawned and stretched, opening the curtains to reveal a bright blue Jump City sky. He breathed in the scent of his room: dirty socks that had been in places Raven would have an emotionless heart attack at seeing, month-old tofu that always seemed to reproduce when he wasn't looking, and the "smell of the jungle,'' as Beast Boy liked to call it, which was basically a code name for "don't sniff if you value your life." Beast Boy was used to it._

_He stepped out into the Ops Center, and a common scene greeted him. Raven was wearing her usual pink and gushing over a hot actor in the chick flick she was watching, Cyborg was Egyptian Dancing to the fridge and back as he prepared the day's tofu, and Starfire held out a dish of greenish stuff to him. "Glorp?" she asked hopefully._

_Beast Boy waved it off. "I'll pass. Where's Robin?" Just then, the Boy Wonder himself entered the Tower, donned in a wet suit. "Dude! What's with the wet suit?"_

_Robin just glared at him._

_"DANCE LIKE AN EGYPTIAN!" Cyborg howled from the kitchen._

_"OMG! MITCHELL MUSSO!" Raven screamed._

_"Glorp?" Starfire offered to Robin._

_"I'll pass," Robin answered dazedly._

_Yep, normal day._

_Starfire flew over to Cyborg. "Glorp?"_

_"I'LL PASS LIKE AN EGYPTIAN!"_

_Undaunted, she finally flew to Raven. "Friend, will you partake in the consumption of this glorious Tamaranian delicacy--"_

_"Look, Starfire! OMG! It's Mitchell Musso!"_

_Starfire cocked her head. "Mich-elle?" Her eyes grew a bright neon green. "Is this similar to the Mich-elle that had been rather forward to Robin at the supermarket yesterday? Perhaps I shall dispose of this Mich-elle Moose as well?"_

_Robin hobbled in, his wet suit restricting most movements. "Raven, don't waste her brain cells on pointless--"_

_"OMG! JUST BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A GIRL DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN INSULT MITCHIE! Just stop! Ugh! You're making my face blotchy!" Robin was lifted up, wet suit and all, and thrown out of the window. He would have broken it, but there was already a perfect Robin-sized hole in the window that no one ever bothered to fix. A splash was heard as he landed in the water._

_"Please, friend, why must you use your powers on Robin in such a way? I wish you had waited a few more minutes. He looked as though he had the 'high body temperature' in the wet suit, and it was rather enjoyable to see." Cyborg stopped dancing, and Raven turned away from her TV show for a second. Beast Boy's eyes popped out at this statement, but Starfire did not notice any of them. "Perhaps now he wishes for glorp?" And she flew out after him._

_"Tofu's done!" Cyborg cried out finally, breaking the silence. Then he buried his face in the just finished tofu and ate it all._

_The alarm sounded._

_"Trouble, you guys!" Beast Boy yelled. He rushed to the screen, and tried pressing buttons, but all of them turned to pie. "PIE? I don't need this right now!"_

_"But I do!" Cyborg said, slurping up all the pie as well. Slade's face appeared on the screen._

_"Hello, Titans. I have finally decided...I will show you my face..." he murmured ominously. Robin burst into the room, with Starfire right behind him._

_"Who are you?!" the leader yelled._

_"Glorp?" Starfire offered. _

_"I'll pass," answered Slade. "Now...to reveal my secret identity...I am really..." He slowly peeled the mask off as the Titans waited with bated breath. They could see a bit of white, the man was very pale. But then, a curly red hair poked out, and Beast Boy immediately knew who it was._

"You guys! Slade is Bozo the clown!" Beast Boy yelled frantically, only to find that he had awakened in his odoriferous room. "Aw man, I already had that dream before! It was after Robin made me run around the Tower seventeen times for telling them about a stupid dream I had! But it wasn't stupid! It was genius!" he told Greg, his cymbal-playing monkey. The monkey crashed the cymbals together happily.

Suddenly, Beast Boy had an idea. He knew how to make Robin loosen up. All he needed was a wet suit...

* * *

I didn't think this one was all that funny, but I'm not you guys, maybe someone will, lol. 


	10. Chapter 10: Name That Superhero

I was watching Wheel Of Fortune the other day...I had a story idea, since it's 'teen best friends' week on Wheel Of Fortune, what if best friends Dick and Kory win a trip to a nice little beach resort? It'd be really fluffy. Tell me what you guys think.

Disclaimer: I own nothing besides the Name That Superhero Game Show.

* * *

"Welcome to the Name That Superhero Game Show! I'm Robert Robertson, and I'll be your host tonight! First off, let's get our crowd hyped and psyched! What do the contestants have to do?" 

"NAME. THAT. SUPERHERO!" the crowd yelled back.

"Grrrrreat! Now, let's introduce the contestants! First off, we have April May!"

A bony lady with far too much lipstick thrust her nose high into the air.

"Next, we have Joe Mocha!"

A balding man grunted at the crowd.

"And finally, Alec Smart!"

A nerdy looking kid snorted his inhaler up his nose.

"Nevermind!" said Robert Robertson as Alec was hauled off to the hospital to have the inhaler surgically removed. "Our third and final contestant is...Jump City's very own Robin!"

"Huh?" Robin asked, teleporting out of nowhere to be on the show.

"Grrrrreat! Now, to win a day with a superhero of your choice, you must get three questions correct! ARE YOU READY?"

_Since when did we allow this? _Robin thought.

"NAME. THAT. SUPERHERO!" the crowd roared.

"Grrrrreat! Okay, the first question goes to..." Robert picked a name out of a hat. "Robin! Which Teen Titan comes from the distant planet of Tamaran?"

_That's easy, _Robin thought. _Starfire..._ His mind wandered off into day dreams of the alien princess, but was rudely interrupted by a screeching alarm. "Sorry, Robin, but you took too much time! Now it goes to...April!"

"That's easy," April sneered in an oily voice. "Starfire."

"Grrrrreat! That's cor-rect! Now, the next question goes to Joe! Which Teen Titan has almost no knowledge of the English language and lives underground?"

Joe grunted.

"Grrrrreat! 'Gnark' is cor-rect! Now, back to you, Robin! Which Teen Titan can shoot star bolts from her hands?"

_How much easier could this get? Starfire, obviously... _His mind wandered again, hoping Starfire would want to go on a picnic later, or maybe to the park. Again, it was interrupted by the alarm.

"Outta time! April?"

"Starfire."

"Grrrrreat! That's cor-rect! Now, Joe. Which Teen Titan his half man, half metal?"

Joe grunted.

"Sorry, Gnark is _not_ cor-rect! Robin!"

"Cyborg!" Robin answered quickly.

"Grrrrreat! That's cor-rect! Whoa! The scores are as stands: April, 2; Joe, 1; and Robin, 1! April, it's your turn! Think you can win? We'll see! Now, which Teen Titan most resembles a traffic light?"

"ROBIN!" she squealed.

"Grrrrreat! That's cor-rect! YOU WIN! Now, which superhero would you like to spend a day with?"

April lifted her hand to her scalp and scratched there, peeling off the mask she was wearing. Robin gasped at what he saw. "Who else? Today is just the first date! I wanna spend the rest of my life with my Robbie-poo!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Hope it was enjoyable :)


	11. Chapter 11: Valentine

I'm sorry I haven't updated! It's just that I'm going into high school and everything and we have to pick our classes and mail it in and it's so STRESSFUL!...but I had to update today. Speaking of which, Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

And that reminds me, I finished 'Dear Robin'! I bet you all forgot about that, lol. I don't think it's very good, but I promised, so...I just have to edit it and I'll post it soon! Hopefully in the next week or two (it's almost as long as the first one).

I totally forgot to say this in the last few chapters, but these events are completely unconnected, with the exception of that TV thing and Stuffed Robin.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans

* * *

"Valentine's Day. Joy to the world..."

"Friend, is that not a Christmas carol? Is it customary to sing them at this 'Day of Valentines' as well?" Starfire asked. She took a deep breath, and her face turned blue when Raven sealed her mouth with dark magic.

"No. And it's not customary to sing Christmas carols at Christmas, either. They're pointless and annoying, like Beast Boy. You didn't need to parade around the Tower with him," she muttered.

Starfire shrugged. "It was very much of the fun! Especially when Robin joined. Did you not find it amusing?"

"No."

Starfire shrugged again, busily throwing all sorts of candy into tiny, pink bags and sealing them with a much bigger pink bow. Even the candy inside was all pink. It was enough to make Raven barf, as she had done twice already that morning. "IS this not a festival of love? You must agree that this is a most glorious holiday, spent with ones you love and--"

"Starfire, please," Raven begged, starting to gag again. Starfire sighed and left, carrying a huge box filled with a dentist's nightmares, evidently for Robin. Raven was left by the Ops Center window, frowning at the sunny weather.

She heard a scuffle and looked over. Cyborg straightened from his crawled and turned a bright scarlet. "Raven! Funny seeing you here!"

Raven cocked an eyebrow. "This is the Tower. I live here. As do you. In case you've forgotten."

"Heh...yeah..." Cyborg scooted cautiously to the garage.

"Where are you going?"

"Who, me? Nowhere! Nope, not me, I wouldn't leave this mighty fine Tower, definitely not to head over to Steel City, now why would I want to do that? Not because Bumblebee's there, of course not, and I'm not going anywhere while we're supposed to be going on patrol in a couple of hours, so there's no need for Robin to worry. I'm just...uh...grocery shopping!" And he zoomed out the door.

_Funny_, Raven thought, resting her head against the window and watching the T-car mysteriously appear on the highway along the coast. _The only grocery we're out of is Beast Boy's tofu..._

Speaking of which, where was the green bean? He'd been mysteriously quiet all day, and that, though supposedly welcome, was strange. As far as Raven knew, he hadn't even come out for breakfast that morning. Who knew, maybe he hated Valentine's Day as much as her.

The door to the Ops Center opened, and out stumbled a very red Robin. He relaxed when he saw her. "Starfire isn't here, is she?"

"No. Why?"

He chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head, only he was holding something and it thonked him before he realized what he'd done. "Uh...no reason...?"

"She went to her room, I think."

"Oh...s-so...where's Cyborg?"

"Grocery shopping."

"Come on! I specifically _ordered_ him not to go to Titans East!" Robin stormed out of the room, and Raven heard a surprised squeak (from Robin or Starfire, she didn't know) when he bumped into the alien princess he'd been looking for.

A few more minutes were spent in contemplation before the door opened again. "Raven?" asked a quiet voice. _Quiet? No way..._

"Beast Boy."

He slid up to her, grinning nervously. Then he thrust out his hands. Lying there was a heart-shaped box of chocolate. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Raven stared at the box, surprised, then up at Beast Boy. Then down to the box. The shape-shifter grew nervous, and he drew back his hands a little bit, but Raven stopped him. "I...I've never gotten a Valentine before..." Her lips twisted upwards ever so slightly. "Thank you."

The door to the Ops Center slid open yet again, and out fell a giggling Robin and Starfire. "We're just...heading out. On patrol," Robin lied pathetically.

Raven rolled her eyes. "So are we." Beast Boy seemed surprised. "I think there's a restaurant downtown that carries hints of criminal activity..." Beast Boy's eyes brightened.

"As long as their tofu burgers aren't over-priced!"

* * *

I'm sorry, it wasn't funny or anything, but I wanted to get something out because I haven't updated in such a long time... 


	12. Chapter 12: Reading

Five updates! I hope this makes up for the long period of inactivity...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans

* * *

Beast Boy sighed. It was so _boring_. Raven was reading, Cyborg was reading, Robin was reading, even Starfire was reading. He wasn't really one to pick up a book/magazine/crime report and sit in one place with it. He didn't have enough patience for that.

The alarm rang. _Finally!_ he thought happily. The Titans rushed out to beat the criminal and cringe at Robin's lame puns, just like normal.

* * *

Beast Boy was the first one back in the Tower. He'd flown back, since last time he was in the T-car, he'd had a little...accident...on the seats while in dog form. Cyborg swore to never let him in the sacred vehicle again. So, he was flying.

When he got back, he realized that everyone had left their books turned upside down, to come back and read for later. Smiling devilishly, he glanced around at Starfire's girly-girl magazine, Cyborg's _Mechanic's Weekly_, Raven's book of dark poetry, and Robin's crime files. Working quickly, he ripped the cover off of Starfire's magazine, stuffing it in the crime folder. Then, he took the actual reports and folded them into Raven's poetry book. He tore off that cover and caught the pages before they fell, slipping them into the nerd's bible...ah, Cyborg's magazine. The pages from that went into Starfire's_ Seventeen_. They'd never know what hit them.

The Titans got back a little later, and Beast Boy quickly changed his triumphant expression into one of exhaustion. "Tough battle, huh? Well, I'm just gonna turn in for tonight..." The others acknowledged him with a nod and sat down. Beast Boy tip-toed out and shut the door, pressing his ear to it after it had closed.

"Slade did _what _to Jamie Lynn Spears?"

"This isn't poetry. It doesn't flow. I got ripped off."

"What the heck? 'Flowery buds of knowledge' into _what _now? I don't have a flowery anything! Nothing at all! Not even a pair of flowery earmuffs, who'd belive that? Heh."

"Please, friend, does the 'internal combustion engine' refer to psychological and emotional conditions that result in an uncertain relationship for a male and female?"

As they read further, they realized what had happened, and a synchronized "BEAST BOY!" rose from the other room.

He ran, laughing his head off. "That'll teach them to not READ when I'm around!"

* * *

Yeah... 


	13. Chapter 13: The Adventures of Raven

So...how's it going...good...having a conversation with myself is diffifult...very difficult...and it involves a lot of dots...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"Cy?" Beast Boy wondered. "What do you think Raven does in her room all day?"

Starfire perked up. "I believe she does the painting of her nails and the reading of magazines. I have found _Cosmogirl_ under her bed before," she answered. "Perhaps, however, it was _I_ who had left it there..."

"Hmm...Maybe she secretly reasearches engineering. I mean, she wasn't half bad when she tried to help me repair the T-car," Cyborg said thoughtfully. Robin snorted.

"That's because you're used to Beast Boy attempting the help you."

"True."

"Hey!"

"The Adventures of Raven," Starfire giggled. "It would make a glorious novel, yes?"

"Any of us would make a nice book, Star. We're superheroes!" Beast Boy pointed out.

"She was just trying to prove a point," Robin argued.

Cyborg was quiet, still rather thoughtful. "What if we wrote one out? We'd make millions! And, man, the stuff I could come up with!"

"Oh yes! We may all supply ideas for this wonderous book. Perhaps one chapter may be devoted to the 'girly activities' Raven and I enjoy doing?" Starfire begged.

"Yeah! And one could be where she trains up an army of gerbils to beat up the flying monkeys that attack her mattress every Tuesday night! Only they're _really, really quiet_," Beast Boy offered, his voice softening at the last part. Everyone was too busy thinking up ideas to throw him dirty looks.

Robin chuckled a little. "Maybe she's part of a secret karaoke club we know nothing about...and she had her room soundproofed so we can't hear her practicing." Starfire giggled.

"That's all nice and stuff, but if we published something like that, you know where we'd be the next morning?" Cyborg asked them. They all shook their heads. "I don't either. And I'd much rather stay in this dimension, thanks."

"Oh yeah."

"Forgot about that."

"Hmm..."

They all looked at each other and jumped up.

"You got extra paper?"

"I shall supply writing utensils!"

"Why don't we use a computer?"

"Man, I _am_ a computer! Just dictate, I'll get it down!"

They all settled around the couch in the Ops center, with Cyborg in the middle. He extended his right arm and up popped a tiny computer screen. A title sprawled across the top: The Adventures of Raven.

"Okay, so for the first chapter, there's an abandoned baby gerbil in another dimension, right? And then Raven visits and she picks it up and goes 'aw, what are you doing here, Mr. Snoochikookums?' And then--" All three of the other Titans stopped him.

"Somehow, I don't think Raven would name anything 'Mr. Snoochikookums,'" Cyborg pointed out.

Starfire agreed. "And even if she did, it would sound somewhat like: 'Azar, what is a gerbil doing in this dimension? I thought I lost any of Beast Boy's friends five dimensions ago...'"

"Whoa..." Robin praised. "That was a really good Raven impression, Star." She blushed.

"Yeah. Who knew you had it in ya to be so dark and depressed-sounding?" Cyborg added.

"I spend much time around her, so..."

"I wanna do a Raven impression!" Beast Boy yelled. He sobered. "Dead kitty...dead kitty...ahem...'Beast Boy! Get out of my room!" The sentence was complete with the swishing of an imaginary cape and casting of imaginary spells.

"Aw, come on, man! We all do that!"

"Not with the cape!"

"Whatever, man, it's my turn." Cyborg stood up and cleared his throat. "Stop playing video games so I can read!" he screeched in a high-pitched voice.

"That was pitiful!" Robin argued. "Starfire's was the best so far!"

"I'm so sure..." Beast Boy muttered.

"Friend, you have not yet had a chance to reenact Raven. Please do so!" Starfire begged of Robin. He couldn't say no.

"Ah...what would Raven say...?"

"She would probably ask what you guys were doing, and why in the _world_ one of your pasttimes include role-playing her," Raven said, walking in and gliding on to a couch with her book. The other four Titans were in shock for a minute, and then started stuttering all at once.

"No! We...we were..."

"I apologize, friend, we had not meant to offend you, we were merely contemplating on the art of literature writing..."

"Uh..."

"Raven! What a coincidence seeing you here!"

Raven shook her head, and everyone could had sworn she looked almost...amused. "Sure. And for future reference, listen to Starfire when you're imitating me, she was the only one who had it right. I have a lower voice than you, Cyborg."

* * *

How awesome would it be to be Raven? I'd be like WHOOSH and sink into the floor, and then BAM and throw Beast Boy out a window...My life would be onomatopoeia-tastic! I had to look that word up...


	14. Chapter 14: Baby Videos

I know this is really short, but I just wanted to update on my birthday, lol.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"I love you, you love me, we're a hap-py fam-i-ly, with a great big hug, and an--ick! A kiss? I don't want a kiss!"

Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg were cracking up until their sides split open from laughter. Even Raven was having a hard time controlling her amusement. Beast Boy had turned a strange mix of red and green. THose colors don't really go well together, and he was not looking happy.

"Man"--gasp--"your baby videos"--gasp--"are hilarious!"--gasp--"I'm so glad I"--gasp--"found them!" Cyborg gasped, massaging his sides.

Starfire giggled, holding on to Robin for support. "Oh yes, friend, they are most humorous! Almost the same as--"

"I can't _believe_ this, dudes!" Beast Boy whined. "You guys went through my _stuff_? And of all you could've found, it was _this_?" He gestured wildly at the little boy in a baby bonnet on the screen, jamming to his favorite Barney tunes.

Raven almost felt sorry for the boy. Almost. This was definitely more than enough mileage to make up for that. "The bonnet was a nice touch, Beast Boy. I think I know where your obsession with paper hats comes from, now."

Beast Boy buried his face in his hands and moaned miserably.

Raven took pity on him. "I found this in the trash can, if it helps you feel any better," she said as a black-aura'ed, ancient looking video tape appeared from the floor. Cyborg's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"A videotape," Robin commented. "Haven't seen one of those for years. DVD's've pretty much taken over, haven't they? Does our VCR even work?"

"Of course it does," Cyborg answered haughtily. "Everything in the Tower is in top condition!"

Starfire stared at her boyfriend curiously. "Surely you have seen one, Robin? Or is--"

She was interrupted by a baby howling on the screen. "Come on, Victor, it's a choo-choo train! It wants to go through the tunnel! Open up wide!" a male voice, probably "Victor's" dad, was saying. Victor continued to bawl.

"That's no choo-choo train! Trains have wheels and horns and carborne receiver coils for coded track circuit signals!"

"Uh...well, yes. See? I told you this train nonsense wouldn't work with Victor! Now how in the world to we get him to eat this tofu?"

"Ha! So you were ALWAYS an animal-killing, meatbrained, vegan-hating, tofu-throwing, beef-burping--" Gar started. Raven rubbed her head.

"I'm sorry I gave that to you."

"--Pork-loving, cow-crunching--"

"Friends! I did not know it was a tradition to share embarrassing tales of one another on Earth. Is this a holiday? Perhaps--"

"It's not a holiday, Star, and it's not really a tradition," Robin explained. "It's just for fun, you know, for a few laughs, nothing big."

Starfire nodded in comprehension. "So, the sharing of the baby pictures I located in your room is not necessary?"

Dead silence.

"Dude! You have Robin's _baby pictures_?"

"Oh...so you wanna tell us what you were _doing_ in Rob's room, Star?"

"This'll be interesting."

Robin ran.

* * *

Not THAT much RobStar, but this is a pretty much friendship fic.


	15. Chapter 15: Blackmail and Black Eyes

Sorry for like, no updating in the past month on this story...I haven't been feeling all that random.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"Beast Boy! Get--off--my--foot!"

"Well, get your foot away from my butt!"

"I would, if this bush was any bigger! Do you think I want my foot anywhere near your stanky tofu-fi--"

"Go hide in another bush!"

"I can't SEE them from any other spot! The sun's setting all weird!"

"How is that my problem?"

Beast Boy and Cyborg whispered furiously at each other, but quietly enough so that Robin and Starfire wouldn't catch them. Otherwise, they'd be grounded to the Tower, and when else could they spy on a date and get the EXTREME blackmail material?

Unfortunately, the bush was barely big enough for Cyborg alone. Beast Boy, scrawny as he was, could fit in snugly with only his hair sticking out. That was okay, though, because it blended with the bush. Another problem: the bush was in the middle of a very crowded sidewalk. It wasn't a natural bush, Beast Boy had uprooted it in elephant morph and given it to Cyborg, who'd plonked it on the sidewalk this morning, as soon as they'd known where Robin and Starfire would be going for their date.

They were getting some very weird looks from bystanders.

Robin and Starfire were blending in with the civilian scene, unnoticed at their table in the Front Street restaurant, right out on the porch. The only thing that blocked the two pranksters' view was a thin, widely spaced fence.

"Did you have a good time, Star?" Robin asked hopefully.

"Of course," she giggled, leaning into him. "I--"

A not-so-smart but rich, generous man walked by and dropped a few coins on Beast Boy's head. "Buy yourself a couple of nice boxes! Just so you won't have to share!" he yelled back at them sympathetically.

"Ouch! That's gonna leave a bruise!" the green bean whined, rubbing his head.

"Stop moving! They'll see you!" Cyborg hissed.

"Robin? Did you hear something? It sounded much like..." Starfire frowned, trying to place the distinct noise. Robin frowned too, but more out of annoyance than anything else.

"I think...it sounded like Beast Boy complaining. Probably some little kid."

"See? Told ya, BB! Keep it down!" Cyborg said, elbowing him.

"Hey, mommy! There's a green guy in this bush! SEE! I TOLD YOU I SHOULDN'T EAT SPINACH! I'LL TURN GREEN! MOMMY, I DON'T WANNA TURN GREE-HEEEN!" the little kid wailed. His mother hurried him away, berating him for insulting Beast Boy of the Teen Titans, and telling him that's what happens if you eat tofu, which is unhealthy. Cyborg barked with laughter.

"It _was_ a little kid. Thought the bush was a person or something..." Robin muttered, irritated.

"But that child was so very adorable!" Starfire chirrupped. Funnily enough, this did nothing to help Robin's mood. Starfire noticed and giggled again. "I believe you to be very adorable, too, Robin, if it helps..."

"She TOLD you, man! Look at what tofu does to ya!" Cyborg exclaimed gleefully, ignoring the golden material right in front of his eyes.

"Shut up, Cy! Tofu isn't even green!"

Robin flushed. "Uh...I--I mean, um..." Starfire began to lean in again...

"Yeah, but _moldy_ tofu is..."

Beast Boy elbowed Cyborg hard, right before his communicator sounded.

"AHHH!" he yelled in a whisper, digging it out of his pocket only to have it fall through his fingers. Both he and Cyborg dived for the gizmo, only to have it bounce up and land out of the bush, still ringing.

"Is that yours, Robin? Mine is silent," Starfire asked her thoroughly pissed boyfriend confusedly.

"It's not me..."

Slowly, Beast Boy changed into an octopus and stretched out his tentacle, bringing back his T-comm. Random people on the street saw this and ran screaming from the strangely placed bush.

"There must be trouble!" Robin declared.

Beast Boy flipped open his T-comm to see Raven staring at him with an eyebrow raised. Cyborg sweat dropped and waved at her. "Do I even want to know what you two are doing?"

"Uh...probably not."

"Are you within a ten foot vincity of Robin and Starfire?"

"...Maybe..."

"Why am I not suprised..." The T-comm beeped again. "Robin's calling. What did you do?"

"What makes you think it was _our_ fault? We're just sitting in a bush and...spying...on Robin...and Star...and trying to get some decent video footage, but otherwise we're completely innocent!" Cyborg questioned angrily.

"Completely innocent. Of course. I believe you," Raven deadpanned, signing off.

"Raven? Who were you talking to?" asked Robin into his communicator.

"Beast Boy and Cyborg," they heard Raven say. The two boys held their breaths. "They're out on patrol."

"Did they sound the alarm? Was there any trouble?"

"No," she stated bluntly, signing off.

"Uh...okay...Robin out, I guess..." He shrugged at Starfire and the two sat down to finish the rest of their dinner.

"That was way too close," Beast Boy mumbled. He'd spoken too soon; his T-comm rang again. This time, though, he managed to get it out before the third note. "_What_?" Raven smirked at him from the screen.

"You owe me, Garfield."

"Look, Robin! Is the sun not beautiful?" Starfire asked the not-so-traffic-light-resembling-now Boy Wonder.

He grinned at her. "Yeah. It sure is."

"BB! Close the line! I feel it, this is the _moment!_" Cyborg urged him. Beast Boy cut Raven off, and Cyborg raised his right arm, out of which popped a tiny camera. "Taking the picture in three, two, one..."

Starfire and Robin kissed, and Cyborg snapped the shot.

_QUACK!_

"Aw, man! I forgot to tell you! I changed your shutter sound while you were sleeping!" Beast Boy howled in distress, rubbing his eyes from the flash. Robin and Starfire broke apart, looking murderous.

"I had known that bush looked very suspicious. There was no soil around it!" the alien princess growled, her eyes glowing with rage. Star bolts charged in her palms.

"I knew I heard things coming from here..." Robin snarled, pulling out his emergency bo-staff. Beast Boy and Cyborg gulped.

* * *

"Did you ever even get a picture or video?" Raven asked amusedly as she patched the bruised and battered Titans up.

"Hey! We did!" Beast Boy croaked. "Show her the picture of them making out, Cy!"

Cyborg pressed a button on his arm and a screen popped out of it. "Slideshow," he told it clearly. Immediately, the screen went to the first picture he'd ever taken: Beast Boy wearing ducky pajamas and turning on a night light while holding his teddy bear close.

"Hey! Delete that!"

Cyborg sniggered and hit the search button, clicking the last picture he'd taken so far.

"No. Way," he moaned.

He'd gotten squished, cramped, barraged by coins, humiliated, sat on, and beaten up all for a picture of Raven signing off the T-comm before Beast Boy shut it on her.

"Look what you did, Raven! I hope you're happy! We've been tortured and all we've got for it is a picture that makes you look fat!"

A vein in Raven's temple twitched. Her eyes began to glow.

* * *

Seconds later, Beast Boy and Cyborg lay as a tangled heap of limbs on the floor. Raven brushed her hands off. "Consider the debt paid. I haven't had so much fun in a while," she droned, smirking as she walked out of the infirmary.

* * *

Hope it was okay. I'll try to make the next one funnier.


	16. Chapter 16: Short

This isn't a funny drabble/chapter, but it was random. And I didn't want to put it out as its own story (don't ask why, I have no idea) so I put it in here. I promise, the next one will have a LOT more laughs in it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

5'0".

I know I'm not the only short thing in this world. A lot of other things are tiny. Kiddie basketball hoops. Rolls of toilet paper. Sparrows. Tempers.

Life.

Ooh, now _that_ was waaay philosofickle. Life is short. Like me. We have so much in common. That's why I have such a beautiful relationship with Life. I'm living, probably more than most of my teammates. Except Star, obviously--I don't think I'm ready to appreciate _every _aspect of it yet.

Life's a short word, too, but that word means everything to everybody. Most big words are meaningless to a lot of people. Like 'endoscopic reticulum.' I mean, who cares? It's the short ones, like 'the' and 'it' and 'and' that are needed the most. And I know I mean a lot to everybody. What would the Titans be without me? A bunch of quiet, unfunny teens with no irresistably cute guy to lighten the atmosphere.

I guess power is everything to people. Big is powerful. Big is strong. So apparently big is smart, fast, funny, cool, and dashing, too. I could be big, if I wanted to. Heck, I could be the biggest animal alive (and/or extinct). But I don't. I recognize the power of short.

I'm the shortest person in the Titans West. Or Central, whatever we are. I get a lot of short jokes. But that's okay, because I make people laugh (whether Raven wants to admit it or not.) And being short usually just makes people want to be better, to prove themselves, so their potential isn't defined by their height. Wasn't either Ghengis Khan or Alexander the Great a shortie? He ruled half the world! I know you can be vertically challenged and do great things. That's what my life's (ha!) all about.

The thing is, Terra was taller than me. Raven's taller than me. Star is too, but if I ever even _thought_ that, I wouldn't have to worry about being short anymore. Robin would make sure of it. Heh. But the pointy ears make up for all that. Seriously.

I'm not saying being called 'little guy' and 'midget' doesn't hurt. It does. But the Titans care about me, they're not trying to be mean. And if there ever IS some person who decides to make fun of me for that, like that Val-Yor guy did to Star, I _could_ always go T-Rex and squash them.

Kidding. Mostly.

Raven walks in. She squints at me. "Beast Boy, you look taller." I take out my handy-dandy tape measure and give to to her.

5'1".

"YES!" I yell. "I've been waiting my whole life for this! PUBERTY!"

She rolls her eyes and walks away, but I don't care. I know she found that funny. And like I said, me and Life are short. We both like pranking and surprising, we both like throwing twists and turns at people, and we both like giving people hope, whether they recognize it or not.

However short I am, it doesn't mean I don't have a big heart.

And some day, even Raven will see that.

* * *

Sorry if it's rushed, but we're about to leave on vacation and I had to get this finished. I hope Beast Boy seemed kinda-sorta in character!


	17. Chapter 17: Conscience

I really really really tried to make this funny, but I couldn't do much with it...the funny's kinda gone, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway.

Dislciamer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

Beast Boy tip-toed into the garage, frequently checking over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching. His eyes landed on the two most prized possessions in Titans Tower: the T-car and the R-cycle. "Which one to ride first?" he whispered to himself.

"I don't know. How about your moped?"

He screamed quietly, jumping to attention. "Who's there?"

"Your conscience."

"My conscience?" he wondered. "You sound a lot like Raven."

"Do I?"

"Yeah! She's always telling me that I'm doing something wrong...are you two related?" His conscience didn't answer. "Are you still there?"

"I disappear at random moments, usually when you're about to do something stupid."

"Oh." And then: "Hey!"

"Admit it. It's true."

"Yeah, I guess. I've never talked to myself before. That's more Robin's thing. And possibly Raven's, too. She has like seventeen different sides of her in her head."

"Yes. Whereas there are two sides to you: Dumb and Dumber."

"Oh yeah? So which side are you on?"

"Touché."

"I don't even speak German! Are you sure you're my conscience? If you were, you'd know that my moped was broken! Only that I didn't want to tell Robin and Cyborg because they'd get mad at me...again."

"So you were going to ride out at midnight and break one of theirs?"

"Uh huh. Wait! I mean, I just wanted to try them out! I mean, I haven't been on the road for a whole two days! And they never let me ride their cars or motorcycles, but I'm pretty sure Cyborg rode my moped once!"

"To test it out. He was fixing it, am I right?"

"Yeah, but...I could've tested it out!"

"You would've broken it again."

"Good point. Where have you been all my life?"

"Closer than you'd think." Beast Boy paused, wondering what that meant. Conscience or not, this voice didn't sound villainous, unless one of Slade's new hobbies was to council him on motorbike riding.

_But what if it is? What if he wants me to leave so he can break apart Robin's motorcycle to construct a prototype of an army of super bionic monkey mutant ninja robots that he could use to take over the WORLD and build GIANT CHEESE FACTORIES WHERE COWS WOULD **JUMP**--_

"Beast Boy, you're turning blue-green."

"Sorry. I thought I was talking to you. I didn't breathe so I could get out my whole sentence."

"I see." Another pause. Beast Boy decided Slade was lactose intolerant (that got rid of the giant cheese factory problem, and it also explained why Slade had only one eye...he drank milk once, it rolled right out) and posed another, more pressing question. After all, this was his conscience, right?

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Isn't that what you've been doing this entire time?"

"I guess."

"What's your question?"

"Do you think...I mean, after Terra...that it's okay for me to like someone else again?" His conscience didn't answer. "Hello? Was that a stupid question? Is that why you disappeared?"

"I'm thinking."

"Wouldn't that mean I'm thinking too?"

It was a while before the voice answered. "It's okay to, as long as you let yourself. If you don't let her go, Beast Boy, it won't mean anything."

"I think I'm ready to. We both used to sneak down here at night, actually, and took Robin's motorcycle for a ride. Don't tell him that...uh, don't make me--make you--tell...him. This is the first time I did, after she...you know..." He could almost feel the air move as his 'conscience' nodded.

"That's a step. I'm no relationship counselor, but..."

"It's okay. Do you think it's another step if I ask another girl to ride with me?"

"It might be."

"Great. Thanks, Raven. You wanna meet me on the highway?" he asked, sweeping his leg over the side of the motorbike.

"I..." He was already roaring away on the R-cycle. Raven blushed and transported herself to the coast. "I don't think Slade is lactose intolerant..."

* * *

I know, I know, Raven can't read minds...but if she knew Beast Boy that well, I'm pretty sure she would know along the lines of what he was thinking. Crazy, crazy Beast Boy...

Not all of these will be Beast Boy-centered, I just had a request for another BBRae. I hope it qualifies, there wasn't a kiss or anything.


	18. Chapter 18: Spontaneous Combustion

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. If that wasn't obvious.

* * *

"Hey Raven, what does 'spon-tay-nee-us-ly combust' mean?" Beast Boy questioned one day.

Without taking her eyes off her page, Raven answered, "It means 'Beast Boy, don't go near'."

The green teen thought for a minute, his eyes lighting up suddenly. "I get it! So does that mean Cyborg could say, 'Spontaneously combust Raven when she's angry'?"

Before Raven could retaliate over Cyborg's guffaws from the kitchen, the whole tower shook. No one paid any attention to it (after all, this WAS California) until a cry went out.

"Robin! I believe I have done the catching of a terrible affliction!"

Mr. Furiously-Typing-Up-Reports-On-Mysterious-Subjects stopped typing, his masked eyes wide with terror. _Wait...terrible could mean fatal and affliction could mean disease...fatal disease...I'M COMING, STARFIRE! _

The alien princess had found her way to the Ops Center, and Robin skidded in milleseconds later. "It's gonna be okay, Star! Phone, phone, where's the _phone?_"

Beast Boy whistled softly. What? It had been a BRILLIANT idea to strap the phone to the remote, so they could always call the remote when they lost it...too bad that was the only phone on this floor...that wasn't _his_ fault.

"Take a communicator, genius," drawled Raven, concerned but emotionless. "Call 9-1-1."

As if Robin was born yesterday.

"Call Area 51!" corrected Cyborg.

As if Robin didn't know Starfire was an alien.

"CALL JERRY SPRINGER!" cried Beast Boy frantically.

As if Robin would listen to him.

Starfire hiccuped innocently.

The whole tower and everything in it trembled as if shocked by a mad scientist, including the bones in the Titans' bodies. Starfire flushed and held out an empty Pepsi can. "This is a wonderful beverage, but I--" Hic! (Rumble). "--believe the risks are far too high. Perhaps we may--" Hic! (Rumble). "--purchase the bottles of mustard to replace this? It does not--" Hic! (Rumble). "--give me such terrible teacups."

"They're called hiccups, Star. Teacups are what you put tea in...you know, to drink," Cyborg explained. Robin would have, but he was busy freaking out.

Hic! (Rumble).

"Which Cyborg makes with WHOLE MILK! COW KILLER!"

Hic! (Rumble).

"They don't kill cows to get milk, stupid!"

Hic! (Rumble).

"The cows get osteoporosis!"

HIC! (RUMBLE).

"You know what osteoporosis is but you can't figure out 'spontaneously combust'?" Raven asked.

HIC! (RUMBLE)!

"Wait! Before you two start bickering again, does Starfire have a fatal disease or not?"

HIC! (RUMBLE)!

"I told you you should've called Jerry Springer! He would've answered that!"

**HIC! (RUMBLE)!**

"She's got the hiccups, Robin. Not exactly fatal."

"She's Tamaranian though!"

Starfire let out a monstrous hiccup that registered a good 9.5 on the Richter Scale. In Jump City, citizens were running amok, buildings were trembling, and Chicken Little screamed, "THE SKY IS FALLING!"

"On second thought, maybe we should do something about the teacups before they _do_ get fatal," muttered Beast Boy.

"Water! Get her water!"

Beast Boy morphed elephant, turned on the sink tap with his trunk, and drank up almost three gallons of water. He turned to Starfire and blasted it all in her face, shooting her back into the wall.

Robin was nearly hysterical. "Beast Boy, we're trying to stop the hiccups, not knock her out!"

"Do not--" HIC! "--fret, friend, I am quite alright. I was merely--" HIC! "--caught off guard."

"Well how does a Tamaranian get hiccups? You have nine stomachs! How many diaphragms do you have, girl?" inquired Cyborg, clearly fretting.

"Only three."

"Well, that's okay then," Raven deadpanned.

"So which one is the problem?"

"I am not sure. This is not a very common problem with Tamaranians, as caffienated beverages are not part of our normal diet."

"Who knows what else can happen?"

Starfire hiccupped again. _CRACK. _

"I hope that wasn't the Tower's foundation," whispered Cyborg, as if another noise would topple the giant T immediately.

"Friends, these teacups are most uncomfortable."

Robin had torn all of his hair out three times. "It's _hurting_ her, somebody _do_ something, can't you cure her, Raven?"

The dark empath thought for a minute. "I think I can." She pointed a finger at Beast Boy, and suddenly the changeling was engulfed in black flames.

Starfire screamed. "Friends! Beast Boy has spontaneously combusted!"

...

"It worked!" Cyborg breathed a huge sigh of relief. "She's okay!"

"But what about Beast Boy?"

The green bean emerged from the flames, dazed and confused but unharmed. "He'll be okay," muttered Raven offhandedly. "It wasn't supposed to hurt him. Crisis over. Problem solved. If you need me, I'll be in my room...don't need me."

The crack in the Tower groaned and creaked, threatening to topple the whole building. "I believe the case of the terrible teacups has affected the Tower as well. Perhaps Raven should spontaneously combust Beast Boy again so it will heal?"

"She said not to bother her, Star," Robin advised. "I would listen, if I were you, or Beast Boy might not be the only one spontaneously combusting..."

* * *


	19. Chapter 19: How To Make A Robin Explode

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"This." _Bang_. "Is." _Bang_. "Too." _Bang_. "Much."

It was three in the freakin' morning and Robin and Starfire were still up. Beast Boy couldn't even get a freakin' glass of milk without hearing them flirt. He was ALREADY not in a good mood at three o'clock in the (freakin') morning without his (freakin') soymilk. And now _this_.

"Oh, but Robin, surely if--"

"Here, Star, let me help--"

How _many_ times can you honestly hug a girl 'casually'? Robin must've figured out a good three hundred thousand ways by now, and it always started with those two lines. Somehow, Starfire always needed 'help' that required Robin's arms around her. The alien princess giggled, something Beast Boy could not help mocking in his overly exhausted head.

"That's IT! I can't TAKE this anymore!" he screamed. Robin and Starfire turned around, glancing at him curiously.

"Hey, Beast Boy. Is something wrong?" asked the Boy Wonder.

His green eyelid twitched. "Is something--is something _wrong_? IS SOMETHING _WRONG_? GAH!" He stormed out of the kitchen, leaving behind two very stunned teens. Something had to be done about this. And it would involve torturing Robin for asking that infuriating question at three o'clock in the (freakin') morning.

* * *

Cyborg was in on the plan, and thankfully, Raven agreed to stay out of it completely. This included telling Robin or Starfire.

"Friends, I believe this pile of dishes may fall at any moment!" Starfire warned the next afternoon. It was her turn to do the dishes, and she was trying to carry a large amount from the table to the sink.

Before Robin could offer his help, Cyborg jumped up. "Give some here, girl, you shouldn't have to carry those. Actually, why don't I help you _do_ the dishes, too?"

Starfire's eyes sparkled, ignoring the rankled leader. "That would be very kind of you, friend! Please excuse my lack of help to you in the past, I shall do so more in the future."

"Nah, don't worry about it. For a pretty little lady like you, who wouldn't?"

She chuckled and thought nothing of it, but Robin glared at Cyborg, who just shrugged, trying to keep a straight face.

"The store of groceries is not very exciting today," Starfire murmured dully. Business was very slow in the mini-mart, and Starfire had grown tired of 'scavenger hunting' for supplies. Beast Boy and Cyborg grinned at each other.

All of a sudden, the doors slammed open, and hordes of teenage boys came pouring in. After them came press and proud parents who watched their sons pose with the alien princess. The other four Titans were knocked out of the way as the Starfire-fans piled on top of her.

"Hey! Hey, you--get away from her! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER, YOU--" Robin's furious voice was drowned out by the roar of boys pleading with Starfire to give them a kiss.

The confused Tamaranian held them off with ease, owing to her super strength. "I believe I should do the 'taking back' of my words. They come with the return policy, yes?"

* * *

An hour or so after they had escaped the mob and returned to the Tower, Robin announced a training session. Beast Boy immediately piped up, "I call Star to spar with!"

"She's _my _sparring partner, Beast Boy," Robin reminded him impatiently.

The green bean shrugged. "I could use a little variety. You can spar with Raven, though." He jabbed his thumb in the sorceress's direction.

Raven sighed and charged up her hands with glowing auras of black. Robin visibly paled.

"Couldn't we--"

"Come on, Star!" exclaimed Beast Boy happily, slinging his arm around her back. It was the highest part of her he could reach. "Have you ever tried _wrestling_? It involves a lot more _contact_ than normal sparring does, but it's great practice. I could go for _hours_ without getting tired!"

He heard Robin's teeth grinding behind him.

* * *

"You are a wonderful wrestler, Beast Boy!" Starfire complimented. "Truly, that was a grueling practice. I have never met my match by a creature of Earth before. Are you as sore as I?" Behind the two of them, Robin was hopping mad. He'd just endured an entire sparring match with Raven and he still had to put up with the fact that he'd never thought of wrestling with Starfire.

"Don't worry, Star. We thought we'd pamper our resident princess!" Cyborg promised.

She cocked her head curiously, and Robin wondered what fresh torture they'd thought up for him. "There's this massage therapist in town--have you ever had a massage? Anyways, all the girls I've talked to love him--"

"It's a _him_?" growled Robin.

Cyborg ignored him. "They _love_ him, says the fact that he's _so_ good-looking really helps, and he's got magic hands, he'll take care of that soreness in a second."

"That sounds delightful!" Starfire gushed. "I would enjoy meeting this magician."

Robin was positively spitting with rage.

* * *

The massage therapist had been called, and after Robin had finished interrogating him rather roughly, he'd retreated to his room. Even his walls, though, could not fully block out Starfire's 'ooh's and 'aah's of pleasure. Eventually, he stormed out of his room and nearly broke down Cyborg's door. Both the metal man and Beast Boy were sitting in there, sniggering. At the sight of him, though, they shut up.

"Evenin', Robin. Did you do something different with your hair?"

"What. Are. You. Playing. At?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"It was just a question," muttered Cyborg innocently.

"I have _no _idea what you're talking about!" sniffed Beast Boy.

Robin grabbed the front of the changeling's shirt. "You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. The dishes--" he shot a death glare at Cyborg--even through his mask it was lethal. "--the store, the wrestling--" He shook Beast Boy. "--and now this massage guy? What the heck is going on?!"

"What's your point?" Beast Boy squeaked, quite aware that his air supply could be cut off any second and ready to morph fly as fast as he could.

"I...I...I don't really know! But _why_?"

"Jealous?" smirked Cybrog. Robin was about to yell at him, but shut his mouth. He had no answer for that. "Oh, come on, Rob. You had your chance with Star, now let the other guys around here have a turn. She's in demand, you know. I've seen guys making out with her action figure in stores--"

"SHUT UP!" Robin was panting, and he had let go of Beast Boy.

This was _too_ easy.

"Yeah, and I mean, I think she's _really_ taken a liking to this guy. Sheesh, you can hear her all the way from here!"

That was the final straw. Robin was out of Cyborg's room, quick as Kid Flash. He materialized in the Ops Center, in front of the startled therapist. "Leave," he hissed. "Now!"

The man didn't wait for further instructions. At least he'd been paid beforehand. Starfire sat up, confused and disoriented. "Robin? What has happened?"

Robin didn't waste any time in pulling her to him and kissing her senseless.

"Booyah!" whispered Cyborg from the hallway, hi-fiving Beast Boy. "Mission: Impossible accomplished!"

* * *

"This." _Bang_. "Is." _Bang_. "Too." _Bang_. "Much."

As usual, Robin and Starfire were sitting in the Ops Center making out. And Beast Boy was too disgusted to get to his soymilk.

"FOR PETE'S SAKE! IT'S THREE IN THE FREAKIN' MORNING!"


	20. Chapter 20: The Truth Or Dare Chronicles

Dislcaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

**_Cyborg_**

"Well? What's it gonna be?" challenged Beast Boy.

Cyborg had picked 'Truth,' and was now regretting it wholeheartedly. This was a choice he'd never thought he'd have to make, a choice that gave his nightmares nightmares just to think about. And now, thanks to that tofu-loving green bean, he had to confront the most dreadful decision in the world.

"I...I..."

"Tick, tock, Cyborg," Raven muttered, a little malicious half-smile forming on the corner of her mouth. Cyborg had never seen her look so interested. Robin and Beast Boy were trying hard not to laugh, but Starfire seemed a bit sorry for him.

He started to sweat. "This isn't fair!"

"Rules are rules," Robin quipped. Cyborg shot him a death glare, but Bird Boy didn't even wince.

The metal man sighed, weighing his options.

One: dark brown, sweet, heavenly. Gorgeous beyond belief. Made him the happiest man in the world every morning. Simply _delectable_.

Two: strong, powerful, beautiful. The very best, no doubt. He couldn't live without her.

"Can you repeat the question?" he asked meekly. Beast Boy cleared his throat.

"If a supervillain was gonna eliminate either all the waffles in the world or the T-car, what would you choose to save if it came down to not being able to save them both?"

"Cyborg!" Starfire cried suddenly. "You are crying!"

And Cyborg sat and bawled like a baby.

* * *

**_Robin_**

"Truth," the Boy Wonder said offhandedly. Beast Boy and Cyborg groaned.

"Come on! You pick that _every time_!"

"And we ask you the same question _every time!_"

"And you say something really lame to get out of it _every time!_"

"So don't ask me the same question," suggested Robin. Starfire frowned at him, knowing exactly what that question was and disappointed that she never got a real answer.

"NO. Pick. Dare." Beast Boy looked murderous, but it didn't faze Robin.

"Even Star thinks you're lame," Cyborg teased, knowing that would get under his skin.

Robin's calm, cool, and collected manner vanished. "Really, Star?" He side-glanced at her, the worry evident on his face. "You really think I'm lame for doing that?" The alien princess giggled uncomfortably, searching for an excuse.

"I do not see any obvious foot injury, Robin, but perhaps you should journey to the medical bay..."

"I _know_ you know what I'm talking about, Star. We went over this yesterday," he muttered. She just lifted one shoulder in her attempt at a shrug. "Okay. Fine. I pick Dare. Everybody happy now?"

"Ecstatic," Raven deadpanned.

Beast Boy and Cyborg ignored her, flipping the computer on Cyborg's arm to reveal the list of Dares that Robin would have to do, if he ever had the courage to pick the dang choice.

_Kiss Star._

_Spend a half hour in a closet with Star._

_Eat something Star makes._

_Send Batman a 'Happy Mother's Day' card with hearts on it._

_Wear Star's dress._

_Eat tofu._

"Hey!"

"Shut up, BB!"

_Admit you enjoy wearing tights to the mayor of Jump City._

_Let Star do your hair._

_Kiss Star._

"Does that one look familiar to you?"

"I said, _shut up!"_

"Whatever. Cyborg has reached his decision!" Beast Boy declared.

Cyborg blinked. "I have?"

"Yeah."

"Um...okay. I dare you to..."

Beast Boy was unable to contain his excitement.

"Kimaspendoutclosetwit STAR!" they yelled together.

Starfire smiled sweetly. Robin grinned at her. "Are you in on this?"

"Perhaps I had given them a few ideas previously..." she mumbled, leaning into him.

"Hey! HEY!" Beast Boy screamed five minutes later. "We never said make out with Star!" He paused and looked at Cyborg. "Did we?"

* * *

**_To be continued...eventually..._**


	21. Chapter 21: The Beest of the East

:)

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"Do you ever wonder why your stingers are shaped like B's?" asked Kid Flash, though with his full mouth it sounded a lot more like, "Doof yuver wonmwhyur stigare shipdike bes?"

Bumblebee sighed, counting down the hours...minutes...and seconds...until Jinx and Kid Flash's little vacation to Titans East was over. "My name is Bumblebee, Speedy Gonzalez. It starts with a 'B'."

"Yeah, but actual bees don't have little tiny 'b's on their butts, they've got wicked pointy things. Those look a lot more scary, you know. Ever think about an upgrade?"

Jinx groaned. "I never knew sarcasm was as big on this side of the law, too. Aren't you guys supposed to talk about friendship and feelings and stuff?"

"Is that what you signed up for?" asked Speedy, looking disgusted.

"Well, no...but you guys are very un-stereotypical heroes, just letting you know."

"Right, well...most superheroes don't have a bedtime, either, but Mas and Menos are out cold," pointed out Aqualad. Then he added proudly, "Eight o'clock, on the dot. How's _that_ for a pretty boy who has no parenting skills?"

Bumblebee rolled her eyes. "Very impressive. You got pictures of their embarrassing baby photos in your wallet, too?"

"No...but that can be arranged..."

Speedy stretched his bow out, trying desperately to hit the power button on the TV without getting off the couch. "They'd totally like that. Mmmm...gotcha! Who needs a stinkin' remote when you have...oh...that was the volume button...great, I have to exert myself all over again!"

"Thismf isss a goof sandvij..." muttered Kid Flash. Bumblebee winced as crumbs fell from his mouth on to her otherwise spotless floor. "You gof anymorme?"

"You gof any mannmers?" Jinx mocked. "Don't talk with your mouth full...sheesh..."

"Well," sniffed her boyfriend. "_Someone's _gotten a little cocky."

Speedy continued to stretch, but suddenly the screen _bleeped_ to life, startling him. He fell off the couch and face-planted on the 'Used by Kid Flash' carpet. "Friends! It is so wonderful to see you again! How have you been? Oh! Jinx and Kid Flash, you are there as well? Wonderful! We--"

"_Starfire._"

"I apologize, Robin. Truly, though, you had taken quite a long while to begin speaking. It is only fair that others receive a chance," the redheaded alien sniffed.

"What are they fighting about?" Bumblebee whispered to the three other Titans West members. Speedy sat up, shaking his head and groaning.

"Nothing," Cyborg whispered back while Robin and Starfire refused to back down from their (rather polite) bickering. "Some party Starfire wanted to have for Beast Boy. It's on a bank holiday or something, and Robin's getting all 'No! The bad guys are gonna blow up the freaking universe on that day, Star, didn't you know that? Bank holidays are just apocalypses waiting to happen!' It'll take him half an hour to give in, tops."

"We ifyded?" called Kid Flash.

"Ask Star, she's the one handing out invitations. And I'm not sure if you'd wanna come. It's a Tamaranian ceremony...which means Tamaranian food..."

Every listener turned (a different shade of, for some) green.

"I think it's beddy-bye time..." Speedy concluded, rubbing his head. He staggered out of the room, taking a good thirty seconds to find the right door handle from the fifty that were spinning around in front of his eyes.

"What have you been _feeding_ the guy, Bee? He can't even walk straight! Any more drunken idiots walking around your Tower and I'll have to come there and cook something up for you," Cyborg teased. It was all very nudge-nudge-wink-wink, something Aqualad did not register at the moment.

"Can't see...so many Jinxes...need...Cyborg's...cooking!" he moaned. Bumblebee smacked him.

"My meals are just fine, you basshole!" she growled. Today was not one of her better days.

"How are you handling the bad luck control, Jinx?" Raven asked, tiring of the oh-so-intelligent conversation.

"Pretty good. The mantra you gave me really helped for--"

"Are you kidding me? You probably have more bad luck than ever, hanging out with _this_ one," Bumblebee screeched as a huge glob of mayonnaise dropped onto the floor. "That's it! I don't care if you starve, you're not eating one more bit of food in this Tower, ya hear?" She pulled out her stingers, nearly breathing fire. Her petite frame seemed to enlarge to astronomical proportions. Kid Flash cowered.

"Don't hurt me. Please. I'll clean it up, I swear! I take back everything I said. I've never seen anything as wicked as those stingers look right now. Really!"

* * *

Ah...that wasn't one of my best...but I had to put that basshole thing somewhere...

Review please!!


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